Learn To Love What You Hate To Do

FINANCIAL PLANNERS – Have you ever struggled to get a client over the line? 

 You’ve given your best pitch, and it comes to the all-important punch line of, ‘Would you like to go ahead?’ 

 And yet the client chooses a different option than ‘Yes’. 

 Bummer… 

 But hang on – where did that other option come from? 

 Normally you. 

 We often phrase these tough questions something like. 

 ‘Would you like to go ahead – or do you want time to think about it?’ 

 Or worse, the ‘Trailing Orrrr.’️  

 What’s the ‘Trailing Orrrr’ ️Neil, I hear you say? 

 It’s where you ask a question and at the end leave an ‘orrrrr….’ hanging in the air. 

 ‘Would you like to go ahead orrrrr…….?’ 

 And we do it in fear of rejection.  

 Because we’re still just cave people in a tribe trying not to be excluded (and therefore die of hunger). 

 ‘Do you want to go ahead?’ is a binary question with two possible outcomes… 

• Acceptance 

• Rejection 

So, a 50% chance of rejection – not good for our anxious mind. 

‘Do you want to go ahead, or do you want to think about it?’ gives three possible outcomes… 

• Acceptance 

• Deferral 

• Rejection 

We’ve just reduced our chances of rejection to 33% – our anxious mind feels better (despite our chances of acceptance also falling to 33%) 

 But if we use the ‘trailing orrr….’ the client has an opportunity to insert their own reasons to defer – so now we have many options. 

 ‘Do you want to go ahead orrrr…..?’ 

 We’re inviting rejection by making it the default option (i.e. please fill in the blank reason why not, Mr/Mrs Client) 

• Acceptance 

• Custom Deferral 

• Custom Deferral 

• Custom Deferral 

• Rejection 

 Our anxious mind is even happier as the chances of rejection have fallen further. It doesn’t care that the chances of acceptance have fallen as well – it just wants to reduce the chances of rejection. 

 That’s why, if you’re in a room of 100 people where 99 people like you but one person dislikes you – you’ll likely focus (obsess) on why that one person dislikes you. 

 How do we deal with this? 

 To even up the odds you need to turn it around on your client – give them the anxiety (in a nice way). 

 ‘Is there any reason why we can’t get things started today?’ 

 Brings it back to 50% each... 

• Acceptance 

• Rejection  

 But actually, the odds are now stacked in favour of acceptance….75/25 I reckon. 

 Because to choose rejection, the client must also come up with a reason which invites judgement – something we worry about just as much as rejection. 

 And then tell it to your face – unsolicited. 

 So, acceptance is now the route of least resistance for their anxious mind. 

 You’ve got a new client. 

 And we’re all still part of the tribe. 

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