The Jack-in-the-Box

FINANCIAL PLANNERS – I bet you recognise this type of client: 

• They cancel on you at short notice. 

• If they do show up, they arrive late, flustered, with excuses about how busy work has been. 

• They can’t turn off their phone or resist answering it during your sessions. 

• They fail to do the tasks that you ask of them in between sessions. 

I call them a ‘Jack-in-the-Box,’ and there are two distinct varieties, each with the same outcome for you. 

1. The Avoider – Some people use ‘busyness’ as a distraction technique to resist deep conversations about themselves or how they feel. They believe if they don’t sit still for long enough to ponder life for any length of time, then they won’t have to deal with what they might find out about themselves if they did. 
2. The Show-Off – Some wear their busyness as a badge of honour, believing it makes them look important. This behaviour often stems from insecurity and appearing “in demand” boosts their self-esteem. They encourage constant contact from others to reinforce this image. 

You’ll recognise these characters amongst your friends and family; 

• They arrive at a restaurant an hour late, boasting about all the crises they had to manage. 

• They double-book themselves, constantly juggling commitments to appear indispensable. 

• When they’re with you, they’re telling you they should be elsewhere, even though you arranged the meet weeks ago. 

They can be exhausting, but because they’re friends or family, you tolerate it.

For clients however, you have no such obligation. 

Where the Jack-in-the-Box has a partner that’s engaged in your process, the temptation can be to just focus on them and leave the Jack-in-the-Box on the sidelines where they seem to be happiest. 

After all, they don’t seem to have much interest in the process so what harm can it do? 

A lot, because at some point the Jack-in-the-Box will fixate on a minor detail, grasp the wrong end of the stick, and start emailing you late at night, questioning it and probably referencing a YouTube video. 

You’ll be frustrated, as you already examined the stick with their partner and showed them the correct end and why the wrong end should be avoided. Yet, here you are, now wanting to hit them with the stick. 

Instead, you need to address the behaviour head-on from the start.

Here’s what you should say the first time they cancel, show up late, or take a call during your session: 

“I can see that you are a busy person and very much in demand. Because of that, spending the time to think through and design a Lifestyle Financial Plan will be of fantastic benefit for you. To do this properly, I need your full attention, which means showing up on time, turning your phone off, and focusing on our work during our sessions. Is that something you can do?”

I guarantee that if you have this conversation, they’ll start showing up on time, their phone will be off, and their attention will be on. 

Why? Because you’ve given them what they wanted. In the first line you acknowledged how busy and important they were, which is all they ever wanted you to see.

Now that this is established, they have no need to continue the act and it can be put to one side. 

In fact, they’re probably glad of the rest from themselves for a while.

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